[Neil turned over the USB device his hands, making note to check the contents later on that evening. His look shot upward when Kristoph mentioned where he went.]
… … …
An’ what did ya find, partner?
What do you think I found, Prosecutor Marshall?
Old memories lurking in the shadows, the aura of Death just as heavy there as the last days I lived. It’s like nothing has changed at all, just new faces there, waiting to die. Hell, I even recognized most of the guards and some of the inmates. I was invisible and intangible the whole time, of course… but it was like a bleak dream with a dull aura of acceptance, just waiting to die.
[He was silent for a while and then shook his head.]
…But I had realized on the road, on the way there… that I needed to let it go.
My problem had been that I didn’t know when to let go. I dedicated my life to my hopes and dreams, ja? I sacrificed much, it meant everything to me.
But just as I had taken everything from others, so too was everything taken from me.
I had been holding onto those dreams, as broken as they were. I didn’t want to throw away all that I had been my entire life. But there was nothing there anymore… it was all gone. I was left holding on to only loss… and that is why it was driving like nails of pain into my heart, to the point of almost making me mad.
Going there, I just felt a sense of emptiness and final defeat. Nothing can change the past now. Nothing can make it better.
That way of life is dead.
[He poured himself some more drink.]
It left me rather sore. I feel a bit lost now.
It’s definitely an improvement from being psychologically trapped in that godawful chamber of poison, though. I feel like I’m finally moving on. I’m glad I went… and I apologize for forgetting my cell phone. I got back to you as soon as I could once I returned.
Don’t worry about it, partner, ya had to deal with it yourself, like a man does.
So the man ya used to be is gone. Findin’ a new purpose in life - hell, a new life period - ain’t exactly easy, ‘specially since that’s been everythin’ ya know.